Essays on things — Story, Setting & Ideas
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This digital edition of Essays on things — Story, Setting & Ideas is described by source-level measurements including 59,179 words, 4 hr 18 min estimated reading time, and 58 detected text sections.
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Fifth Avenue, when I remembered that it was necessary to buy a pair of socks. Why I wished to buy only one pair is unimportant. I turned into the first sock shop that caught my eye, and a boy clerk who could not have been more than seventeen years old came forward. “What can I do for you, sir?” “I wish to buy a pair of socks.” His eyes glowed. There was a note of passion in his voice. “Did you know that you had come into the finest place in the world to buy socks?” I had not been aware of that, as my entrance had been accidental. “Come with me,” said the boy, ecstatically. I followed him to the rear of the shop, and he began to haul down from the shelves box after box, displaying their contents for my delectation.
“Hold on, lad, I am going to buy only one pair!” “I know that,” said he, “but I want you to see how marvellously beautiful these are. Aren’t they wonderful!” There was on his face an expression of solemn and holy rapture, as if he were revealing to me the mysteries of his religion. I became far more interested in him than in the socks. I looked at him in amazement. “My friend,” said I, “if you can keep this up, if this is not merely the enthusiasm that comes from novelty, from having a new job, if you can keep up this zeal and excitement day after day, in ten years you will own every sock in the United States.”
My amazement at his pride and joy in salesmanship will be easily understood by all who read this article. In many shops the customer has to wait for some one to wait upon him. And when finally some clerk does deign to notice you, you are made to feel as if you were interrupting him. Either he is absorbed in profound thought in which he hates to be disturbed or he is skylarking with a girl clerk and you feel like apologising for thrusting yourself into such intimacy.
He displays no interest either in you or in the goods he is paid to sell. Yet possibly that very clerk who is now so apathetic began his career with hope and enthusiasm. The daily grind was too much for him; the novelty wore off; his only pleasures were found outside of working hours. He became a mechanical, not an inspired, salesman. After being mechanical, he became incompetent; then he saw younger clerks who had more zest in their work, promoted over him. He became sour and nourished a grievance. That was the last stage. His usefulness was over.
I have observed this melancholy decline in the lives of so many men in so many occupations that I have come to the conclusion that the surest road to failure is to do things mechanically. There is, for example, no greater literature in the world than the Bible and no more exciting subject than religion. Yet I have heard many ministers of the gospel read the Bible in their churches with no interest and no emphasis, whereas they ought to read it as if they had just received it by wireless from Almighty God. I have heard hundreds of sermons preached mechanically, with no more appeal than if the speaker were a parrot. There are many teachers in schools and colleges who seem duller than the dullest of their pupils; they go through the motions of teaching, but they are as impersonal as a telephone.
In reading that remarkable book, _The Americanization of Edward Bok_, I was impressed by what he said of competition in business. Beginning as a very young man in a certain occupation, he had expected to encounter the severest competition. As a matter of fact, he met no competition at all, and found that success was the easiest thing in the world, if one provided the conditions necessary for it.
He worked along with a number of other young men in the business. He was the only one who ever got to the place ahead of time. At the noon hour at lunch the other youngsters never on a single occasion mentioned the business in which they were engaged. They talked of their girls, or of athletic sports, or of various dissipations. He was the only man who ever remained after business hours, and he was convinced that he was the only one who ever occupied his mind with the business during his evenings.
He rose above the others with consummate ease, and for two obvious reasons: First, he made himself indispensable; second, he found his chief pleasure in his work, not in the dissipations outside of it.
In the opening essay, Phelps recounts being awakened before dawn in Mentone by a star shining 'with inquisitive splendour' into his eye—a moment that prompts him to watch the sunrise from his balcony. This blend of precise observation and personal reflection sets the tone for the collection. The essays, originally published in 1930, range widely: from the proper way to eat breakfast (never with a newspaper) to the nature of English versus American humour. Phelps writes as a confident, sometimes cranky, cultural observer, drawing on literature, travel, and daily life.
Breakfast as a Moral and Social Act
In the essay on breakfast, Phelps elevates the morning meal to a matter of character and domestic harmony. He insists that breakfast should be eaten in a 'calm and peaceful state of mind' and that reading the newspaper at table is a form of bad manners that has 'extinguished the fires of love.' He also condemns the practice of opening letters at breakfast, as one letter may contain 'worry, disappointment and anger' enough to poison the meal. The essay is filled with specific, almost fussy, rules: never eat in bed unless too sick to get up, never let a friend who has already eaten sit and watch you eat, and always take time to chew. Phelps’s voice is authoritative yet personal, drawing on his own habits and observations rather than on any external authority.
The Mother Tongue and the Shibboleth Test
The essay 'The Mother Tongue' opens with the biblical story of the Ephraimites who were slain because they could not pronounce 'shibboleth' correctly. Phelps uses this as a springboard to discuss the social and practical importance of language. He argues that pronunciation and word choice are not mere pedantry but markers of identity and belonging. The excerpt suggests that Phelps is concerned with how language functions in everyday life—as a tool for inclusion or exclusion, as a sign of education or class. He does not offer a systematic linguistic analysis but rather a series of observations rooted in his own experience as a teacher and public speaker. The essay reflects a broader theme in the collection: the small, concrete details of life that reveal larger truths about human nature.
The Range of Topics: From Sunrise to Spooks
The table of contents reveals an astonishing variety: 'Sunrise,' 'Molasses,' 'An Inspiring Cemetery,' 'The Devil,' 'What the Man Will Wear,' 'Dreams,' 'Hymns,' 'Spooks,' 'Trial by Jury,' and 'The Great American Game,' among others. This breadth suggests that Phelps’s method is to take any subject—no matter how trivial or grand—and turn it into an occasion for reflection. The essays are short, rarely more than a few pages, and each stands alone. The catalog subjects classify the work as 'American essays — 20th century,' and indeed the voice is distinctly American: direct, opinionated, and unafraid of humor. Yet the excerpts also show a writer deeply familiar with European culture, from Mentone to London to Paris. The collection resists easy summary; it is a miscellany held together by Phelps’s consistent persona.
Readers approaching Essays on Things should expect a series of short, self-contained pieces that reward dipping in at any point. Phelps’s voice is that of a well-read, worldly, and occasionally old-fashioned commentator. The essays are not arguments but conversations—sometimes with the reader, sometimes with himself. The most useful approach is to read slowly, letting each essay’s specific detail (a star, a cup of coffee, a mispronunciation) open onto broader reflection.
I finished Phelps's essays the other morning, and his careful, stubborn thoughts on ordinary things stayed with me through the day, much like a good conversation you don't quite leave. It made me think of his quieter companion, the Address delivered before the British Association assembled at Belfast — Story, Setting & Ideas, which asks for the same patient, unhurried attention. There is a certain comfort in that kind of mind.
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